24 Hours Later [Hermione]

[HERMIONE GRANGER]

halting her actions for just a second, Hermione let her hands rest evenly on his shoulders as she exhaled. Taking whatever strength she could from the silent room. "We all have scars, Severus.". Her voice was defeated, showing just how heavily some of the memories associated with the physical reminders sat on her shoulders. Over the years she simply learned to deal with the battle scars, the ones made by magic or muggle blade. But she knew eventually she would need to address the power of the anger and revengeful feelings that bubbled beneath the surface of her facade. Gently, she restarted working her hands over the surprisingly supple skin of her old professor. she relished every touch she could get, basked in the scent of the oil and his own aroma. It was hedonic and therapeutic, even if just for herself.Yet she let the silence fall around them, between working out the tensed muscles and soothing the skin with the palm of her small hands she found that the action was rather ... pleasant. She hadn't really devised the thought that she would enjoy massaging anyone. it was always just an option, something she believed she would have to share with a lover or a partner. But for someone like Severus, someone so well respected and so ... forbidden it was like tasting the sweetest of fruits. The taste lingering in her head and causing a shiver of pleasure to race down her spine.

She heard his plea of course, but she would stick to what she said. once she started she did not simply stop. not unless she had hurt him. But she understood why he was always so tense. The role he played in the war was one that she would not wish on anyone. "I'm beginning to think you have never been subjected to a massage before Severus." she said with a small smirk on her mouth. Letting herself relish in the thought that she was providing him with one of the few moments when he could truly relax. She was right, they were both safe here. She would gladly do whatever it took to keep him safe and she had a suspicion that he did not hold such contempt for her either. It was a ... dare she admit, magical experience.

"I'm glad." She whispered, hearing his admittance of the working out of muscles to be 'good' for something like that to come from Severus Snape was as close to a compliment as she believed she would ever get. She would take it while she could.

But, at the same time she was suffering from a case of heavier breathing. That groan she had heard, that beautiful sound ... it affected her far more than she dare admit to anyone. She never admitted to a soul about her crush on her once professor, and until this day not a soul knew of her continued attraction to the snarky man they all seemingly feared. It would stay that way. Were anyone to find out she feared the reaction against him would crush her. How he should hate to be chased by someone he thought of as a child ... she could not take the embarrassment of being seen as a child any more. Each time they called her 'little Hermione' or something akin to the years she was in school she felt herself sink lower into her own self. She despised it so. "I'm glad you find it ... pleasurable ... Severus."

((OOC: And you thought your post sucked?! ))

[SEVERUS SNAPE]

The former Potions Master chuckled breathlessly at her first comment, but he didn't say anything. He supposed that scars were just a part of life; some people called them marks of bravery while others tried to hide them. He couldn't help but to wonder where Hermione's were and what had caused them; however, he wasn't stupid enough to ask. He had told her not to question him, after all, so it was only fair that he did the same. Snape closed his eyes for a moment as her hands continued to work over him.

"Mm... I'm not used to anyone touching me, Hermione, let alone getting a massage." He admitted.

Severus kept himself because he feared being hurt again. So much wrong had happened in his life... When one knew his history of abuse it was easy to understand why he shied away from physical contact. The death of Lily had also forced him farther away and now the recent loss of their savior - Harry Potter - was unhinging him. He was surprised when he felt his muscles relax under her touch even more and as a result of this, he dropped his Occlumency shields a little. There were no signs of the tremors or spasms, which could have been due to the lovely massage Hermione was still working on; then again, he might just be controlling them subconsciously, so accustomed was he to hiding from everyone around him. A slight smile broke across his features rather suddenly.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

There was something... odd... about Hermione.

Normally he would have attributed it to the nerves because he had been her Professor at once point so he reckoned that this had to feel mighty strange on a certain level, but he also knew he would only be lying to himself if he went down that route. He had heard the heavier breathing from the girl; had seen the way she had blushed before; and had even felt her hands shaking somewhat before she willed herself to steady out the massage. He wasn't really sure what to think about all of this; after all, Snape wasn't the type of man to jump to conclusions. It didn't seem as invasive as it should.

"May I ask you something?" Without waiting for her to respond, he continued: "Are you... attracted to me?"

---

Tag: Hermione
Words: 386
Location: Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place; Kitchen
Notes: Blah short. Sorry about the wait, love.

[HERMIONE GRANGER]

Hermione Chuckled. She could almost hear the smile in the mans voice as he spoke. It made her almost giddy with delight of it having been her doing that he was happy. that she was the one to make the man pleased rather than the snarky bat that everyone was used to. she highly doubted that any other of his former classmates even believed the man capable of smiling. let alone in the company of another. She was both honoured and perhaps just a bit intimidated by the notion. She was the only one ... only her. However as much as she wishes she could share such information, brag to others she knew she had agreed to keep this meeting to herself. no-one would know about their rendez-vous. No-one would know that for what seemed the first time in decades, Severus snape was relaxed and ... somewhat happy. "I might be enjoying this just a tiny bit more than i should be." She chuckled, kneading out what seemed to be a particularly tight knot. Her brow furrowed in concentration as she focused on not pressing down too hard. She didn't want to need the use of pain relief potions because she had been too heavy handed.

Then again, the strong muscles under her nimble fingers seemed like they could take the strain. She knew it was simply due to the fact that he had been a Death Eater. or ... was still a Death Eater. One whose alliance was once again under scrutiny from almost everyone who came into contact with him, yet from experience she knew that the man would never put anyone in harms way if he could prevent it. As much as a hedonist as he was, Severus Snape was not a barbarian that reveled in the thrill of other peoples pain. Or at least, she hoped as much. She doubted that it would make that much of a difference for how she saw him, she had spent years fawning after him when everyone around her called him into question, called him a traitor, a deserter. He was neither, he was a spy. And his job required a certain amount of truths in the information he was to pass along.

As dumbledore regularly used to say. 'For the Greater Good'. The greater good was getting more and more strenuous as the years went on. At 19 she had seen so much pain and death, felt first hand the anger of someone simply because of what she was born as. That she was not raised in the same world as them. She disliked the instigation that the Death eaters seemed to provide. Poking holes in the orders defenses and in many cases, showing them just how powerful they could be by killing even more defenseless and uninformed muggles. they had no business being dragged into this war. They had lived alongside the wizarding community for milenia, yes ... they feared magic in ways that she believed were correct. And history only seemed to prove that when pushed, the muggles will fight back. But wizards must give themselves that same luxury. They too were responsible for the fear that they evoked in the mass public. One curse can kill anyone... if that thought didn't scare a muggle then they were far braver than she.

Much as she reveled in the feel of the surprisingly soft skin under her fingers, of the muscles that were very obviously lurking beneath their surface. She had managed to keep her mouth shut. she id not say a word about how ... wonderful he looked. More so now than she had fantasized in her own mind. And her mind was very good at being accurate when thinking of another person. Yet, as soon as she had opened her mouth to make a passing comment. She was met by the rather quick question of whether she was -as she indeed was- attracted to her ex Potions Professor.

what was she meant to tell him!? 'Yes, Sir. Ever since Fifth year I have found it impossible not to think of you in a rather lustful manner.' ...yes, because that would encourage a stronger kinship between the two. Yet still she was quick dumbstruck. Her hands freezing above those broad ... wonderful shoulders. A soft tingle ran down her spine as she swallowed rather thickly. Trying to hide in vain how quick her breathing had become. "What gave you such an idea Severus?" Despite the shaky way in which she spoke there was no mistaking the thickness in her voice being derived from the lust, excitement and sheer embarrassment of what was to come. Perhaps simply a scathing remark from the professor. Or some mention of her being simply an insufferable Know-It-All. She did not expect any declarations of affection on his part. That was simply not him. Unfortunately.

[SEVERUS SNAPE]

"Indeed."

He experienced a little flash of joy at having been right in his assumption and he couldn't help but to wonder how that should make him feel in whole. She was enjoying this more than she should be, after all. She was giving him a massage; probably the most intimate action someone had ever done for Snape. She liked touching him; the sensation of his sinewy muscles beneath her hands; the slight chuckles he gave as she worked out the knots on his back; the fact that he was relaxing under her despite everything he had been through in his past... It was hard for him to believe that this was real. Perhaps he was dreaming?

He gave a smirk at her next words. "I'm not stupid, Hermione. I can feel your hands shaking occasionally. I can hear the way your breath heaves and how shaky your voice is sometimes."

Severus was silent for a few moments. He wasn't sure what to do in this situation. He knew nothing about affection or romance. He had only ever loved one woman in his life: Lily. It was pointless to keep holding onto his feelings for the redhead. She was gone and she wasn't coming back. There was nothing to glue him to her anymore now that Harry was dead. He had failed in his mission. She probably hated him. She had never noticed the subtle hints he would give or the way he acted around her in his youth. He knew his love had been one-sided and that as perfect as she had been in his eyes, she wasn't for him. Lily was gone and she wasn't coming back...

"I've been holding onto this for too long." He closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm sorry, Lily."

Snape had changed, but Lily remained unaltered and unaltered she would remain. She was a memory and nothing more. She was forbidden. There was no use denying it. Something detached from his soul. The pain was immense and he gritted his teeth to resist.

[/li][li][/sup] Lily was gone and she wasn't coming back...

---

Tag: Hermione
Words: 343
Location: Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place; Kitchen
Notes: * -- This section was borrowed from a fanfic. Second Chance: Chapter 31. Short, but a necessary step forward.[/blockquote]

[HERMIONE GRANGER]

He loved someone already. Of course. Was that not always how it ended in the books? The one man the heroine so desperately covets ... their hearts belong to another. How utterly tragic. She hadn't quite heard him properly, more focused on her own mortification, but she knew he spoke of a woman. Someone called Lily. She was probably beautiful. Thinner than herself, with nice straight hair. Probably a better figure or larger assets. After all, the illustrious Severus Snape would only ever settle for the best. From what she assimilated from his work, he looked and coveted only perfection. She, Hermione Jean Granger; was as far from perfect as any girl could get. With her imperfect teeth - something her parents reminded her of constantly - , bushy, untamable hair and a bossy know-it-all disposition she all but repelled men. Forget attracting them.

Having steeled herself for the onslaught of what she assumed to be profanities and remarks against her intelligence, Hermione let her hands drop to her side. She had been caught out, the one person she desperately prayed never actually find out about her attraction was the only one to suss her out. And already she was pitted against another woman. She felt mortified at how stupid she had been. Through all the years, all the countless fantasies; she knew that he would never return the favors that she so desperately hid from sight. She knew the man would never feel such things for someone that, throughout her entire schooling life he had seen as nothing but a pest. What a fool she had been. For being named the brightest witch of her age, she sure felt pretty stupid.

"Try not to think less of me Severus. I had never intended to let anyone know. Her broken voice reflecting the shadow that crossed over her face. Her smile dropped all to quickly and her shoulder fell under the weight of her dismissal. Slowly, she reached for her wand and cleaned up the excess oil that was on her hands before turning and gathering things for a strong cup of Coffee. She was going to need it. She preferred doing things the muggle way when she as stressed. It was too easy to just wave her wand and mutter the household charms. No, if she physically made her own drink it took some of the pressure off her. Even if only for a moment.

[SEVERUS SNAPE]

Severus lifted an eyebrow at her words, wondering what he could have possibly said to cause such a defeated tone in her voice... It actually took him a few moments to remember that he had uttered Lily's name and a slight flush colored his pallid cheeks as he felt Hermione turn away. She cleaned up the excess oil and then began gathering the necessary supplies for a nice cup of coffee or tea. (He couldn't really tell which.) He watched her in silence while she did everything the Muggle way and the sight made him once again think of the redhead who had once held his heart. Only this time there was no pain that came from the memory.

"You know... You remind me of her." Snape said comfortably enough. "Lily was a lot like you when she was alive. A Muggle-born know-it-all who often doubted herself no matter how often she was told that she was special; that she was above the regular caliber of witches and wizards most people meet. It was my privilege to know her in the days before she and I went off to Hogwarts. We were very close, best friends in fact, even after we were Sorted into rival houses... She was pretty, like yourself, but she wasn't beautiful. She had bright red hair which she was teased about in school and far too many freckles on her face. She was also kind of a geek so most people left her alone simply because they didn't understand. For a long time her only friends were myself and Lupin.

"I tried everything to make her see how I felt about her. Subtle hints and clues; the way I used to talk to her, how I treated her, and initiated physical contact despite my own personal fear of it because of my filthy Muggle father." A deep scowl went across his face, but now that he had started, he found it hard to stop. "But I've never known romance or affection; I've never known what it was like to be touched without feeling some kind of pain afterwards... Until today anyway. Thank you, Hermione. Lily never noticed me. We were just friends and that was all we were going to be. But you..." And here he gave one of his rare fond smiles. "You've noticed despite how I've treated you in the past. I'm actually kind of surprised that you feel so strongly for me. I never even knew. And here I call myself the best Spy that ever was."

Severus snorted. "I apologize if my words caused you pain. You see... I simply can't be involved with anyone. You understand that with my position it would be dangerous... for both myself and my partner. It's always been that way. There's something else as well though. I had to get rid of Lily. She was in my way and she was holding me back, but she's gone. She died a long time ago, Hermione." He gave a sigh. "All of my life I have been doing what I do because of her and her son, Harry. There's nothing for me now. Letting go of her was hard for me to do because I've been grasping at straws for the past couple of years now... I'm losing it; I'm losing myself and I don't know what to do. I just don't feel the fight in me anymore. Give me something to work towards... Please."

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Tag: Hermione
Words: 573
Location: Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place; Kitchen
Notes: Well... there you go. Hope that provides Hermione with some useful information. -Snerk-